"People are going to disappoint you, I get that, I kind of expect that but, what happens if one day you wake-up and realize you are the disappointment." - One Tree HillI've come to a point in my life in which everyone around me starts to disappoint me at one point of another. Pessimistic, much?
It's so typical of me to put the blame on other people whenever shit happens mainly because it's easier to point the gun at everyone else but yourself.
I felt like I have disappointed so many people in my life - The people whom deserve the better side of me but I just refuse to show it mainly 'cos of my ego and for other selfish reasons just to make me feel better about myself.
I've stolen things.
I've caused verbal and physical pain to others.
I've lied for selfish reasons.
But I seem to keep forgetting that one person I've disappointed the most in my entire 21 years of existence. It's not any of my loved ones nor is it any of my good friends.
It's me.
All these while, I've been fooling no one but myself. I feel like I've cheated myself in so many situations. But I'm only human. Cut me open and I bleed. Everyone makes mistakes at the end of the day.
Sure I deserve forgiveness at the end of the day and a second chance. But not from any of my friends or loved ones. But from myself.
So to myself, I forgive you. I forgive you for making all of those mistakes in the past. No, it's not okay for you to make those mistakes in the first place, it was childish of you, but what matters the most are the lessons that you've learnt from them.
P.s And if I've disappointed you at one point of time or another, "Then it's not my problem any longer 'cos it's now your problem." Words of wisdom from one of my ex-polytechnic lecturers.
Labels: 30 Days Of Truth
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