Poly Lecturer: I like looking at Rool and J. They're always smiling and laughing.

Classmate: They're just like that. They laugh at almost everything.

Trying my hardest to remain calm, I looked over to J and she said,

J: Because we're both laughing monsters.

And that's when we burst out into fits of unstoppable laughter.

J was one of the first few friends I made during my first year in my polytechnic education. It's funny thinking 'bout how I met her for the first time. We happened to be in the same lift along with another classmate of mine. And there was this awkward silence until one of us said, "Okay, are the three of us in the same class?" and as silly as the question was, it was quite funny.

We moved on from being just acquaintance to close friends after that. We'd team up for projects all the time either because everyone else didn't want to group up with us or we just enjoyed each other's company.

Hanging out in school with her every single day was actually quite fun. She was more than just a laughing buddy to me.

She was my shopping buddy.
We'd go out with each other almost every weekend without even making any plans at the start of the week. Meeting up with her can be as random as telling her on MSN, "Sure, meet you in 30 minutes!"

She was my bitching buddy.
A bitching buddy is essential in every part of your life. The topics to talk about with her are never-ending and we'd talk about a lot of people.. sometimes even continuing our bitching sessions after school either over a phone call or on MSN.

She was my train and bus buddy.
Trust me on this. When a friend offers to take the public transport with you despite the hassle (due to it being completely out of the way), don't let that person go cos he/she's a very good friend.

We even went to the extent of celebrating her birthday together at ECP, which was nice even though it was only just for a while. We'd meet each other before class starts without fail and even took the same IS classes.

She supported me as a friend when I needed someone to back me up, especially during one of my projects, hurling all sorts of profanities and major eye-ball rolling to the person whom had wanted to take a ride on my A-grade project. Little did I know at that point of time, she and that certain someone gotten close in the next 2 years.

Then one day, something happened. She just silenced herself. I tried talking to her, convincing her to come to school. and she eventually told me what's been bothering her all these while. We got even closer after that.

And then we had a fight.

I honestly couldn't remember what it was about. It must've probably about a petty issue, or was it not?

All I remember was that whatever she did to me.. it hurt a lot and made me very very disappointed in her. And you know how it is when I'm pissed or disappointed in a friend.

I just ignored her from then on. But when I ignore, its not that I don't care. In fact, I do care. I had just wanted to see if she would even make any effort to salvage our friendship. But she didn't. I remember my birthday came and though she was seated at about 8 seats away from me, she sent me her birthday wishes through SMS.

Maybe I shouldn't have acted the way I acted. She needed me at that point of time but I was just cold towards her. Hurt me once and that's goodbye.

In year 3, I had wanted to just talk things out with her. I fact, I needed her support for some of my designs. But she didn't give me her support any longer. She had her new friends. And that's when I realised.. I guess our friendship had already ended, there and then.

And silly me was still standing up for her whenever people talked behind her back even if she wasn't a friend to me anymore.

But the fact that I don't remember what J did to hurt me.. pretty much shows that I've forgiven her. Sure, I regret at some point about what happened with our friendship. But J, she was the bestest friend I could have never asked for.. even if it had only lasted for a year. I'm glad she was a part of my life.

"I can forgive but I can't forget" may be an over-used word of expression.. but we'll eventually forget about the issue. "Just give it time".

Labels: 30 Days Of Truth

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