Write Grace a letter. You dont send it. You just pour out your feelings. Tell Grace how happy you are to have found her and how much you've loved her. Trust me, once you've written it, you'll feel so much better.That's the scene when Gabby couldn't cope with the loss of her biological daughter and there's nothing that she could do 'cept to cry every single day. She needed to do something about it 'cos she was turning hysterical and turned to Lynette for help, since Lynette was the only one who had experienced a child loss and she gave that advice.
- Lynette Scavo to Gabrielle
That's how I'm feeling right now. Not that I've lost a child or anything but it's relatable. God help me for I don't know how to put everything that I want to say to you face to face. We've drifted so far apart 'till we've misunderstood each other for every single thing we do. I don't exactly know how long it has been since we last had a proper conversation.. let alone a single greeting from you. I sometimes feel like I'm living vicariously through your Facebook, checking your status updates every once in a while just to see if you're doing fine.
I remember telling you, "I've taken the photo of the both of us off my wall." But to be honest, it's still there. It does drop sometimes but I will pick it up every single damn time it happens and put it back up on the wall again. I then take a step back to look at the photo, slowly admiring it and then let out a silent chuckle to myself 'cos those were happy times. The smile then slowly turned into a frown and I'll walk away.
Many times I see you log on to MSN and I find myself wanting to strike a conversation, maybe a hi. But instead I stare hard at your nickname then fear got the best out of me and I just decided not to do it. Weak. So I'm gonna do like what Gabby did (in Desperate Housewives), I'll just write a letter to you but I don't send it out. I'll definitely trash things out with you in the letter and once I'm done, I'll press the delete button.
P.s I did it. Wrote the letter. I feel so so so much better now. Thank you.
Labels: Rant
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